In an effort to focus on the good things in life (one of my New Years Resolutions), I am going to make a counter to my previous post and give you a shot of what I thought were the best of the best in 2007. The awesome-est most legendary shit to go down this year. What are your thoughts?
Awesome Female: Heidi Klum. I don’t care what she did towards world peace or saving sick babies - I love Project Runway and she, previously nicknamed “The Body” returned to the runway for the first time in years after having 3 kids - and is still, easily, 10 to 15 times hotter than me. I admit; I have a girl crush. Runner-Up: Angelina Jolie. Because of what she did towards world peace and saving babies. And because I look up to her for her being OK without a rock from Brad.
Awesome Male: David Beckham for purely superficial reasons. The way I would like to make love with him would, in fact, redefine for the world, what love making even IS. (Who am I kidding? I’d end up standing at the foot of the bed, naked, shaking and crying in awe.) Runner Up: Barack Obama. Even if he doesn’t win the democratic nomination or the presidency, if you like him or not, I think he’s made Americans look at politics, the presidency, etc differently than we have before. And that’s essential to improving the country and keeping America about what America is supposed to be about. Bucking the norm, challenging the status-quo of stodgy, stagnant thinking…and openly admitting to smokin’ the ganj.
Legalize it!
Awesome Government Organization: The NC DMV for making the process to get your tags renewed so quick and painless. Runner-Up: Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police for a) not arresting my boyfriend for anything randomly and b) being unusually absent from roads in general.
Awesome Phrase/Quote/Word: “Legend….wait for it….dary.” How I Met Your Mother is a hands-down favorite in our house and Barney Stinson is the effin’ man. Runner-Up: Anything from Katt Williams. Money Mike from the Friday movies is finally coming into his own and becoming more mainstream. If you haven’t seen “Pimp Chronicles, Pt. 1″ on HBO on Demand or something, do yourself a favor. “Bitches need to stop blaming all your problems on us. Stop tellin’ a n****,”You fucked up my self-esteem”. Bitch, it’s called SELF-ESTEEM! It’s esteem of your mothafuckin’ self. How am I gonna fuck up how you feel about you simple bitch?”
Awesome Gadget: The New iPod Nano. The Soulmate got one from Santa and even Santa agrees, 8 gigs, video capabilities and photo album functionality - it’s off the chain! And now the Soulmate is a virtual P-I-M-P and the G-Y-M. Runner-Up: Blackberry Curve 8310. A smartphone that is actually still user-friendly? Easy email, full QWERTY keyboard and sleek look in gunmetal gray? Two megapixel camera for lascivious, naughty photo shoots? You had me at hello.
*You have 1 New Porn Mail*
Most Surprisingly Awesome Movie: Across the Universe. Being a Beatles purist, I was very concerned about other people singing Beatles songs and tragically trying to make them their own. Blasphemes! But the movie was absolutely brilliant, beautiful and left me in awe. They made the songs sound like they were brand new. and Jim sturgess is hot. Runner-Up: Shoot ‘Em Up. A completely over the top, dark crime comedy, that had nearly the look of a graphic novel (think “Sin City” with a sense of humor). Clive Owen, Monica Belluci and Paul Giamatti were perfect.
Most Surprisingly Awesome TV Show: This was very hard because there are a lot of shows I started watching this year, but didn’t start this year. I’d still have to say Brotherhood on Showtime. Drugs, dysfunctional family action, scandal, sex and drama - and Irish people? There isn’t anything more to ask for. Runner-Up: Dexter. The likeable serial killer who works as a forensics cop…..whose real personality is about to get figured out by Internal Affairs. (Honorable mentions: Burn Notice on USA and Big Bang Theory on CBS. Ooh. And Bones.)
They don’t call me “bones” for nothing, big daddy.
Awesome Crime: Adam “Pac-Man” Jones, “making it rain” at the strip club. I just like saying, “making it rain.” Runner-Up: Music Piracy. My old reliable favorite. Bless you, Limewire!
Best Computer Program/Software: iTunes. Without you, I’d have no jams to strut all sexy-like to at the gym, like everyone else can hear them like I can. My graditude is bottomless. Runner-Up: Photoshop. Without you, I’d have no job.
Best Ailment: MRSA. Don’t get me wrong, MRSA is a terrible and potentially fatal virus. But it’s new and and getting tons of press even though it’s a hot mess (Think microscopic Britneys). Plus, the vacuums we make kill it. And that’s money in the bizz-ank when we can play to people’s irrational fears. Word? I ain’t mad-atcha. Runner-Up: Tie between Polio and Small Pox. Because they don’t exist anymore. Down with catastrophic illness!
Best Animal: Pumpkin Josephine Finola Astrid. The best puppy ever, though she has more hair and less politeness than you can shake a stick at. Runner-Up: Rudy. Jane’s puff ball of magic.
Well, that is the round-up from here. I am just about list-ed out today. Here’s to having this much to write about in 2008.
