top searches today…

this is what happens when you google “hot bitches”.

top searches leading to the AOT today:  hot bitches,  Heath Ledger,  forgetting sarah marshall.

Awesome.

i am infinitely cool.

…and you should all be nice to me.

Shit, what do I care if you’re nice….I’m famous now bitches! CNN.com contacted me to contribute to their article from a simple Twitter post about how exhausted I was from staying up until 3:30 to see The Dark Knight last night. You might laugh at my nerdy, pathetic social networking web applications - but look who’s laughing now.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Movies/07/18/dark.knight.opens/index.html

review: the dark knight.

The SM and I met up Heidi and Patrick and admittedly, totally nerded it out; we saw the Dark Knight last night at midnight. Holy shit, my friends. It was brilliant.

I usually don’t care about comic book stories with all the suspension of disbelief and superpowers. Real life tends to be about as freaky enough as I can handle. But the Dark Knight met and exceeded all the hype.

Christian Bale was fantastic and mysterious as the charming millionaire Bruce Wayne. Maggie Gyllenhaal was smart, yet vulnerable and beautiful as Rachel Dawes. Aaron Eckhart’s transformation from the heroic, humble savior figure of Harvey Dent into the arbitrarily sick and violent Two-Face was shocking and convincing. But of course, everyone there paid to see the absolutely epic portrayal of Heath Ledger as the evil, bone-chilling Joker.

Quite simply, Heath Ledger was everything the critics said he would be; reaching a level of disturbing and creepy met by very few villains, if any, in the history of film. I would put Ledger’s portrayal in the same category as Anthony Hopkins’ Hannibal Lecter without a second thought. The Joker absolutely steals the movie, seemingly steals your soul with his sinister stares, and in my opinion, steals the summer. Even despite Ledger’s uncanny talent to completely envelop himself in the character of The Joker, you can somehow still sympathize with this psychopathic murdering criminal. It’s no surprise to hear that he took motivation from Sid Vicious (who had a life of debauchery, drugs… and untimely death in 1979) and the “ultra-violence” of Alex DeLarge from A Clockwork Orange. After seeing his depiction of the Joker, and knowing Heath’s method of acting, there is also no surprise that he would have been on the toxic mix of anti-depressants and sleeping pills that tragically took his life.

The plot wasn’t all about Batman, how so many comic book movies tend to be with all the exposition and explanation of his grossly extravagant toys. It’s like Batman wasn’t the main character at all; It was the Joker. It has been reported that even though he was the title character, Christian Bale was glad that The Joker stole the show; the dynamic made the film even better. The whole movie was very dark and hopeless almost but despite that, it’s definitely the movie to see of the summer because of the superior acting, astonishing cinematography and regretfully, the unrepeatable decision to cast Heath Ledger.

I think comic books and their movies are our generation’s equivalent of westerns. Heroes, justice, ordinary men doing the extra-ordinary…and the good guy (almost) always coming out on top. My dad always said he watched Gunsmoke and Bonanza because it renewed his faith in the human condition. Batman just traded in the horse for the Batmobile, brandishing his cunning instead of a six-shooter…the venue moving from the OK Corral to Gotham City. You will have to see the movie to see all the twists and turns to see how this one turns out and which character rides off into the sunset.

Sad.

When I finally got home last night from work, working out, church and my high school reunion with an old friend from marching band, I watched just a few minutes of “The Patriot” and got a little sad watching Heath Ledger.  I hate that he was such a tortured soul and left us as untimely as he did.  Every once in a while, the world loses a young, talented person way before their time, but it doesn’t matter; it’s still hard to stomach. 

wednesday quick hits

Jai guru deva.  Om.

1. Shaq is traded to the Suns for Marcus Banks and Shawn Marion? Wow! 
2. The Maharishi Mahesh Yogi died!  He was the yogi the Beatles went to go visit and taught them a lot about Eastern ways of thought, transcendental meditation, etc.
3. Heath Ledger supposedly died of an accidental overdose of medications.  A mix of OxyContin, Xanax, you name it, was in his system and reacted in a way that was unexpected.  The only thing they didn’t find was Midol, because I effin’ bought every last box of that shit this week.
4. Mike Huckabee be CRAZ-ZAY. 
5. It’s fashion week. 
6. It’s like 75 here today.  Suck it, North!
7. T minus two days until the showdown at the Dildo Corral.  Pure Romance party is all lined up and planned…just gotta go grocery shopping for phallic veggies to dip!

tgif, biatches.

He must have a HUGE schlong.  Am I right, ladies?

Well, we have made it through another week together and boy, am I glad its Friday.  I’ve had plenty of work at work, just to go home, work out, and unpack every night.  The SM has an instore visit from his boss today, and he had on a one-day sale Wednesday…it’s just been a hectic week.  Can’t wait to sleep in. 

I heard some interesting things on the radio this morning:

Shaquille O’Neal makes 2 million dollars a month.  He spends about $250,000 a month on everything (mortgage, utilities, etc), meaning he spend about 10% of his income.  They said that would be the equivalent of you making $50,000 a year..and spending $500 TOTAL, on all your bills.  I pay almost twice that much on rent.  I pay almost that much for just my car note.  That is insanity.  I wonder if I could convince Wells Fargo Auto Finance to cut my payments to $100? 

Dennis Kucinich (Ohio - represent!) is dropping out of the presential race officially today.  What a shame.  Oh that’s right, our president is already made fun of enough.  Why do we need a baby chimp in office?  At any rate, Dennis is something like 63 I think.  His wife?  30.  AND SHE AS HER TONGUE PIERCED.  Are you fucking kidding me?  Did I just hear that?  Thinking of Kucinich “enjoying the benefits” of his wife’s tongue ring can be equated to cleaning my eye sockets out with bleach.  Like, twice. 

What is this world coming to?!?  Heath Ledger dies and Dennis MF-ing Kucinich is humping THIS broad?  The apocalypse is nigh, my friends.

I plan on reviewing something today.  Most likely Celebrity Rehab.  So check back later. I have got to accomplish something today.

quick hits.

I actually have some stuff I need to accomplish today so I thought I’d stop in before it all commenced and offer some thoughts on the happenings of today.

1)  No drugs were found on the $20 bill by Heath Ledger’s body.  Good to know…but still, the plot thickens.  A respected toxicology doctor said that the prescriptions Heath had in his apartment probably wouldn not have contributed to an overdose.  I guess we just have to wait another week and a half to find anything conclusive out.

2)  Puffy/Diddy/Sean Combs had decided to change his name again, to “Sean John” - the name of his clothing line.  He says she’s all mature and shit.  I’m sorry.  Grown men don’t change their name.  I remember one time, I was playing in Cabbage Patch Kids Playhouse and I was instantly transformed from Ashleigh to Astronaut Pretty Pants.  I know it revolutionized my life.

3)  Now my black dress pants are missing too.  And my orange top.  There is a whole basket of clothes that evidently were shot off into outer space, never to be seen again. 

4)  DUDE - Nate Dogg had a stroke! (Read about it here!)  He’s recovering…but Nate!  Regulators!  You gotta be handy with the steel, bro! 

4)  I have a fantastic boyfriend.  He fixed the belt to my coat last night, watches American Idol with me and brings home some serious bacon.  All that and he’s absolutely, heart-stoppingly gorgeous.  Somebody’s getting a fashion show tonight.  He made some suggestions in the Frederick’s of Hollywood catalog and my incredibly trashy black fishnet body stocking came in yesterday.  I am SO ready to moonlight as some sort of white-trash 80’s call girl.  Just one more step into porn stardom.

5)  I need to review Project Runway Season 4, American Idol Season 7 AND Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Season 1 on here, stat.  and maybe even a quick hit on How to Look Good Naked with Carson Kressley too.  Those are coming soon.

6)  I love procrastinating….so…

 I’m out. Will write more later maybe. When I need a brain break.

heath ledger: 1979 - 2008

“I only do this because I’m having fun. The day I stop having fun, I’ll just walk away.”

It was truly sad news last night to hear about Heath Ledger’s passing when I got home from work.  Only 28 years old, Heath had made it a point to not fall into the easy or expected roles (think Orlando Bloom), but worked to stretch the cinematic experience for himself and the audience.  Just finished with “The Dark Knight”, another film in the Batman series, Heath had really been able to keep himself undefined and a bright spot in Hollywood.  Despite his split from Michelle Williams, he still stayed a persistent force in their daughter Matilda’s life, as a proud father.

Yesterday, around 3:30 pm, his housekeeper and masseuse found him laying face down on the floor of his bedroom, naked and dead.  Sleeping pills and other anti-anxiety mediations were found in the bedroom and though an overdose of these things seems pretty evident, an autopsy is being conducted today to determine what the true cause of death was. 

In all seriousness, it’s very sad to see such a “good” force fade away so soon.  A talented actor that changed movies with things like “Brokeback Mountain” and actually being able to take “The Joker” to a whole new level past Jack Nicholson’s interpretation? He will truly be missed.

In all un-seriousness, for just a moment, how does he die, most likely by mistake, a weird combination of these things in his system…and Britney, Amy Winehouse and the whole cast of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew are still breathing MY oxygen?  Evidently flagrant weekly vag shots and being a porn star and/or completely ungrateful for the unbelievable talents you have been given is the fountain of youth Ponce de Leon overlooked centuries ago. 

PS:  Update:  OK, supposedly either it was not Mary Kate Olsen’s apartment at all…or maybe he was renting it from her.  Still.  *shudders*