This weekend, the SM and I went up for our friends’ Sue and Mike’s wedding. Everyone knows that I was a little wary about how I’d handle all the festivities, given the fact that I am a retarded mess when it comes to commitment and the lack of it thereof in my life. But I didn’t have any nervous breakdowns. In fact, I had the best time I have had in a long, long time…even without a rock on my hand.
The ceremony took place in the Old Stone Church in Cleveland which was absolutely breath-taking. We rode Lolly the Trolley from the hotel to the church, which was fantastic. I had ridden Lolly since our fourth grade field trip to the West Side Market. One of the clergy officiating the ceremony was the same pastor of the church where I went to pre-school, so that was a trip down memory lane within itself. The ceremony was simple but sweet and very traditional, given the historical monument it was held in. Everyone looked beautiful, especially the woman of the hour, the beautiful bride, Sue. I admit, I got a little tore up seeing little Sue come down the aisle. I managed to not smear ALL of my make-up ALL over my face, so I think I can put a check in the “win” column.
The reception was at the Cleveland Arcade at the Hyatt Regency which was absolutely gorgeous and laid out so beautifully. It was where the Cleveland Browns had their Christmas party when I worked there in 2002, so that gives you an idea about how amazing it was. On top of the atmosphere being romantic and grand, I got to see about half of our whole freakin’ high school, some of which I hadn’t seen since graduation…so needless to say, we were in for a great night.
But don’t worry too much my pets; our friends and I didn’t fall for all that fancy-schmanciness! Teachers and parents that we have all known for 15-20 years were there….and we got epically wasted, trying to cut in on them dancing with their spouses, running around the hotel and Cleveland like we owned the place. Beer and wine were flowing and the band was incredibly tight, playing tons of great music.
ALSO…turns out that a Cleveland legend, Super Pimp, is Mike’s uncle. This guy runs the city…rocking the pimp suits, dancing to James Brown and chillin’ in every VIP room in every bar in town. The SM has pictures with Super Pimp from years ago in Akron. Seriously. So when we decided to do post gaming in the Warehouse District after the wedding band had finished, we invited his bad-ass to get us into the hottest places without waiting in one line.
After the wedding, the lucky couple went up to the honeymoon suite and took care of the business of consummating their relationship (again, ya know, post vows), while 16 of us from NRHS went down the street to the bars – with our formal clothes on. Our one friend Adam, when he gets drunk, he gets really non-discriminatory with his money…so he bought us all bottles of champagne on top of the wine, beers and mixed drinks we already had.
We shook our moneymakers, laughed and made out a little. The SM told me 4, 5 times how much he loved my friends and how fun they were. He couldn’t understand how I could have moved away. I couldn’t help but think the same thing.
At 2 am, when the bars closed, we decided to walk back to the hotel and continue the debauchery there; it was too early and too many years had passed since we were able to hang out like this so we had to make the best of every moment. Little did we know in the bar, however, that it had really started storming. There was a sprinkle that had started but by the time we got downstairs and outside, it was a full-blown flood of Noah proportions. Sixteen drunken, ridiculous bandos could not fit in one cab so we decided to take the long way – walking. We walked back about a mile and a half or so, to the hotel, off our asses, in the pouring rain, running through puddles, pretending to be Gene Kellys…screaming “Spicy asian poontang!” and singing at the top of our lungs. Adam (the guy with the bottomless intoxicated wallet) actually went ahead and rolled around in the storm drain putting his tuxedo insurance to good use. Our good friend Greg didn’t realize that the lamppost would be slippery when he tried to pull a “singing in the rain” scene out of his back pocket and landed flat on his back on the street.
Then suddenly, someone had the OUTSTANDING idea that we should go harass Sue and Mike. Absolutely rocked and soaking wet. Sixteen of us got in the elevator – dripping, make-up running all over our faces, and clumsily fell out once we reached the 7th floor. Here is us in the elevator:
We ran to their room and practically beat down the door… barging in, slipping and falling like keystone cops all over the marble floors of their suite. They were surprisingly very accommodating and we’re almost glad to see us, laughing and inviting us in.
After the joke was worn thin and the floors were thoroughly soaked and dangerous, we left and all went back downstairs to change and wring out our dress clothes. We ended up going back to one room and hanging out, catching up with a few other guys that we had lost earlier. Turns out Jeff and Matt (the two stragglers)…GOT HIT BY A CAR when they were walking back to the hotel! They weren’t really hurt…but they definitely fell down on the street. The guy opened his window, yelled out the window, “Do you accept my apology?” and just drove away. Jeff and Matt were so stunned by the turn of events that they didn’t even realize what was going on and the hit-and-run driver got away before they could take down his license plate. I’m sure their traumatic experience was improved greatly when they got back to the room and saw the other Adam in THIS get-up.
Needless to say, it was getting late. At about 3:30, we decided it was time to call it a night and go back to our respective rooms. Everyone split up to “visit a little bit longer” with the drunken old friend of their choosing (naked). Thankfully, The SM and I didn’t have to wake up and regret anything the next morning, short of mixing liquors and trashing our room with our sexcapades, since we swap fluids on a regular basis. We were passed out by 4:30, and up at 10 to drive back to Akron for brunch with his fam and out of Akron by 2 to come back home. I drove the whole way because after the champagne at the first bar we fell into, I knew I had to cut myself off or neither of us would be able to drive home Sunday. We folded the seats down in the back of the Rav and the SM and Pumpkin laid back there on the Punk’s dog bed the whole drive…all 470 miles. I sat up front, with the darkest sunglasses I could find, sipping on water and Gatorade. It was pretty great to pull into our parking lot at 9 pm and get a hot bath before I fell into bed.
We had a whole night of just EPIC fun, enjoying each other’s company and catching up…and defacing public property, whatever. Really – it was the best time I have had in a long while. I hope to get the pictures loaded up here soon. I was just too tired to mess with it too much last night. I can’t WAIT to snag a few more of the other people’s pictures too. It was really the time of our lives.
I miss those guys so much. But it’s nights like Saturday that make you appreciate them even more than ever. I was incredibly blessed to have such a close-knit group of memorable people to surround myself with growing up. A lot of people had terrible experiences in high school, but reuniting with the people we did this weekend was the best reminder of how lucky we were to have such a unique crew to call “friends”.
Congratulations again to the new couple and I hope you have a fantastic time on your honeymoon. At least in another country, you don’t run the risk of 16 belligerent, wasted fucks busting into your digs, dripping rain and sewer water all over your floors, carpets and belongings. At least I hope not.
NOTE: ALL the pictures that I took are over on my myspace page and I fully intend on snagging some more from Greg and Adam among others. So stay tuned.
