At this point in the season, our normally beloved Cleveland Indians are fourteen games out of first place in their division. With the 4th worst record in all of Major League Baseball, the Tribe is competing against Seattle, Washington and San Diego for the lowest winning percentage for 2008. They are currently dealing with an eight-game losing streak on the road, headed to Detroit. On the heels of the announcement of CC Sabathia leaving for Milkwaukee and with 4 of the most integral Indians players on the DL (Hafner, Martinez, Carmona and Westbrook), what do Mark Shapiro and the rest of the front office at Progressive Field have in mind to pull the Tribe out of the proverbial gutter?
The SM, while being a fan all 35 years of his life, has been relegated to rooting for his National League favorites, the Mets and the Dodgers, as to not tarnish his allegiance to his American League Indians. I’ve started rooting for the Phillies, mainly because I like their uniforms, partly because Chase Utley and Ryan Howard are so good – and I root for cute first basemen. Milwaukee’s in the mix now, however, since CC has been traded there and they are actually in contention. CC, being drafted and nurtured in the American League system, has always loved to hit, so a National League team might fit him well. I always liked CC. He was probably in my Top 5 Indians I’d make the nasty with. I don’t blame him, in some ways, for testing the water and going to where it makes the most sense for him. I’ll still miss his cuddly cheeks and crooked hat though. CC was a pimp and a good dude.
I am just depressed that we have to watch our dear Indians twirl down the toilet drain with one mighty flush from the front office, injuries and Cleveland’s epically terrible karma. What did we do to the rest of the world to deserve such under-performance? Our fucking river already caught on fire and we raised Jeffrey Dahmer – give us a break! Ohio sucks enough already! With trades, the DL and a general feeling of aloofness in the locker rooms peppering “The Birthplace of Aviation”, it just breaks our hearts.
Last year, we were one game away from going to the World Series for the first time in a decade; potentially poised to win it after a 59 year drought. Bron-Bron took us to the finals. The Buckeyes were in the Natonal championship. The Browns made it to the playoffs for the first time since the invention of football! Now, what is there to look forward to for the Cleveland Indians baseball club..and even in Ohio sports in general? Where do we turn? First, Art Modell takes our Brownies to Baltimore, then LeBron talks about how much be loves the Big Apple…now CC Is packing his bags.
I can’t root for the Panthers, guys. The Bobcats are perennially one of the worst teams in the NBA and we don’t have a Major League baseball team anywhere in the Carolinas. (Besides - enough with the wild cat names! Bobcats? Panthers? SHIT. Even the one fucking college within 150 miles of us, Davidson, who made it to the NCAA Torunament are WILDCATS!) College football isn’t even a big to-do! Step it up, Shapiro, Lerner and…Usher! I love the south, but when it comes to sports, I am Ohio girl, through and through. Don’t make me break the bond that I have worked so hard to foster for the last 28 years. Renew my faith in the Great White North so I can keep annoying native Carolinians with my nasal accent and aggravating passion for sports and conferences/divisions they don’t care about!
