i am not a role model.

What is with the recent police blotter slapped all over the sports pages nowadays?  Just this weekend, Cedric Benson from the Chicago Bears got pulled over for DUI in a boat and resisting arrest.  Just a few days ago, Marvin Harrison from the Colts was somehow implicated in a shooting at his restaurant with a gun registered in his name.  Last week, Hall of Fame* pitcher Roger Clemens was uncovered as a statutory rapist.  Not long ago, Pacman Jones was busy making it rain in strip clubs.  And who can forget the big dog himself, Michael Vick, in his dogfighting scandal.

What happens to these freaks in the off-season where they think they are above the law?  I get it…they are all big kids who get to play the game they love for a living.  They are just grown men with the mentalities of little boys.  But don’t even 2-3 year old little boys comprehend the the notion of actions reaping consequences?  Honestly - why do half of them just take their perfect lives for granted.  God knows, if my job didn’t suck at life, I’d be grateful as shit.  Until then, I’m chained to my desk for eight hours a day, secretively blogging about what a total fucking douche Maurice Clarett, Ray Lewis, Pete Rose, Mike Tyson and everyone else is.

Read Cracked.com’s take on the Criminal Athlete Fantasy Draft and get a laugh.  Thank me later.