the big day.

Tomorrow is the big day for Sue and Mike and the day I promised the SM that I wouldn’t have a nervous biological clock breakdown because other people are professing the undying love and devotion to each other, while we are NOT.  I need to have a pep talk with myself to make sure I keep my word to my old man.

I am going to look fabulous.  I have a hot dress, new shoes and the flyest mani and pedi that anyone could get from a huge room full of Asians.

I am going to see a plethora of people that I should have always kept in contact with better.

I am going to get a hug from Greg Amato.

We are going to see the fabulous Grays.

The weather looks like it’s going to be great.

I’m not going stag to the wedding.

The boyfriend is going to look gorgeous.

Hmm…That’s good for now. I’ll report back when I can.  I’m about to leave work now, pack and start the hike to Northeast Ohio.  Congratulations again to the lucky couple.  I can’t wait to go home.

i am infinitely cool.

…and you should all be nice to me.

Shit, what do I care if you’re nice….I’m famous now bitches! CNN.com contacted me to contribute to their article from a simple Twitter post about how exhausted I was from staying up until 3:30 to see The Dark Knight last night. You might laugh at my nerdy, pathetic social networking web applications - but look who’s laughing now.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Movies/07/18/dark.knight.opens/index.html

review: the dark knight.

The SM and I met up Heidi and Patrick and admittedly, totally nerded it out; we saw the Dark Knight last night at midnight. Holy shit, my friends. It was brilliant.

I usually don’t care about comic book stories with all the suspension of disbelief and superpowers. Real life tends to be about as freaky enough as I can handle. But the Dark Knight met and exceeded all the hype.

Christian Bale was fantastic and mysterious as the charming millionaire Bruce Wayne. Maggie Gyllenhaal was smart, yet vulnerable and beautiful as Rachel Dawes. Aaron Eckhart’s transformation from the heroic, humble savior figure of Harvey Dent into the arbitrarily sick and violent Two-Face was shocking and convincing. But of course, everyone there paid to see the absolutely epic portrayal of Heath Ledger as the evil, bone-chilling Joker.

Quite simply, Heath Ledger was everything the critics said he would be; reaching a level of disturbing and creepy met by very few villains, if any, in the history of film. I would put Ledger’s portrayal in the same category as Anthony Hopkins’ Hannibal Lecter without a second thought. The Joker absolutely steals the movie, seemingly steals your soul with his sinister stares, and in my opinion, steals the summer. Even despite Ledger’s uncanny talent to completely envelop himself in the character of The Joker, you can somehow still sympathize with this psychopathic murdering criminal. It’s no surprise to hear that he took motivation from Sid Vicious (who had a life of debauchery, drugs… and untimely death in 1979) and the “ultra-violence” of Alex DeLarge from A Clockwork Orange. After seeing his depiction of the Joker, and knowing Heath’s method of acting, there is also no surprise that he would have been on the toxic mix of anti-depressants and sleeping pills that tragically took his life.

The plot wasn’t all about Batman, how so many comic book movies tend to be with all the exposition and explanation of his grossly extravagant toys. It’s like Batman wasn’t the main character at all; It was the Joker. It has been reported that even though he was the title character, Christian Bale was glad that The Joker stole the show; the dynamic made the film even better. The whole movie was very dark and hopeless almost but despite that, it’s definitely the movie to see of the summer because of the superior acting, astonishing cinematography and regretfully, the unrepeatable decision to cast Heath Ledger.

I think comic books and their movies are our generation’s equivalent of westerns. Heroes, justice, ordinary men doing the extra-ordinary…and the good guy (almost) always coming out on top. My dad always said he watched Gunsmoke and Bonanza because it renewed his faith in the human condition. Batman just traded in the horse for the Batmobile, brandishing his cunning instead of a six-shooter…the venue moving from the OK Corral to Gotham City. You will have to see the movie to see all the twists and turns to see how this one turns out and which character rides off into the sunset.

something old, something new, something borrowed, ashleigh’s blue

I promised the SM last night over a plate of manicotti that I would not have a nervous breakdown of biological clock proportions this weekend, given the fact we are going to a wedding. But that just means I have to get out all frustrations and thoughts out beforehand here.

Again, I couldn’t be happier for Sue and Mike, my dear friends for a long, long time now. And I am so excited about seeing everyone there who I haven’t seen in years, or even since we graduated high school. But where is my wedding? I have put in some serious time with some significant others, never to have that blessed day when he goes down on one knee and asks me to be his forever.

Why is it that women feel so pressured to link up and stick with someone through better and worse? Why do we plan the flowers and dress and church as little girls only to have to rearrange our plans when we grow up? Why does everyone I know in the whole universe need to be getting engaged and married every other weekend this year? I haven’t really hit the wall regarding this yet, until this summer. I’ve said it before, but I officially know something like 11 couples who are engaged for their future wedding or got/are getting married this summer. That’s TWENTY-TWO people…and I don’t know all that many people!

The reason we even got on this subject was because the SM mentioned that he would love to plan a trip to Puerto Rico to surf at some point in the winter. I made a frowny face. I tried to brush it off because I knew that it would end ugly, but he persisted. I told him that I could think of something else I’d like to spend a few thousand on. I’d like to go to Puerto Rico too…but how about for our honeymoon?

I try. I really do. I try to stay calm and patient because he always talks about our plans and futures and we’re definitely both present. I know that guys have their timelines and they aren’t always ours, but I am tired of having my little hopes and dreams determined by other people; in every facet of my life. I have more people to answer to than I care about answering to. I guess that’s everyone’s story though. I just figure in this one arena, I might have a little bit of a say.

I just want to know, forever, that I have someone who will be there with me through everything. I want to know that the time and money and tears and everything I have spent aren’t for naught. I want to walk down that aisle and be secure in my future. I know that marriage isn’t the most stable convention and I know that marriage doesn’t mean that someone WILL be there for everything because you will disagree at times. But I have gotten out of relationships after 3 or 4 years more than once…and if feels like I am doomed to serve a life sentence of serial monogamy.

It’s just frustrating. From day one, hour one, literally, the SM talked about our wedding day; where it could be, how it could happen, who we’d invite. We both know this is it for us; there isn’t anyone with whom we’d rather be. But when will that day happen? 487 days so far…and ticking. Hopefully this is enough catharsis for now.

Just remembered: The SM was like…if I get you a ring, YOU are happy for a few hours, telling friends and family. If we go to Puerto Rico, both of us will be happy for a whole WEEK. Hahaha. Asshole. I told him if he gets me a ring, we don’t have to have this fucking conversation anymore and he quickly saw my point.  PWNED.

masturbation break.

Sometimes I forget how mind-blowingly smokin’ hot Ryan Phillippe is and I need a reminder. Too bad he is a cheating, cold-hearted whore of a man.

daily quotes are back!

While they may not be “daily” and they may not be “quotes”, little snips of wisdom will be reappearing over on the “Daily Quotes” page up in your navigation there.  If you have any good ones, drop ‘em to me and I’ll be sure to add them.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a joke, or a quote, or something clever you heard today, I’ll take it.

my own pie chart.

pr5 - tonight!

At last, my favorite reality show of all time, Project Runway, is returning for it’s fifth and final season tonight on Bravo!

http://www.bravotv.com/Project_Runway/season/5/countdown/index.php

The new designers looks fabulous and interesting and ready for some FIERCE competition.  There are two from Ohio this year….Suede from Seven Hills and Kelli from Columbus.  Heidi Klum is always gorgeous. And Tim Gunn is back for one last shot at “making it work”!

I cannot wait. Who will be this season’s brilliant young prodigy like Christian Siriano? Who will be the drama victim like Andrae Gonzalo or drama creator Kara Saun? Who will be the class clown like Santino Rice? who will be the Eliza or Vincent of seasons past that nobody understands? I can’t wait to see! Who else out there is a Project Runway fanatic? Who is your favorite designer? Whose your least favorite? What have been your favorite moments? I have to get done work done so I can play ball tonight and get home to watch The Runway! Auf Wiedersehen, bitches!

a cartoon for you to smile at.

From The Rut.

another brilliant graph jam.